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BLASTED AT THE CAR WASH The Spirit of Truth is one of the most valuable and important gifts God has given mankind. Now I was trapped with the doors of the car wash closing front and back. My window is half way down. The wash begins and those brushes spin with a menacing slapping sound and start at me. The first blast is the “soak” to wet down the car. There is a reason why they call it “the soak.” It came at me full force through the window – an involuntary cold shower. I desperately tried to get the window up, but it stuck half way. The brushes stopped at the back of the car and seemed to be looking at me with evil intent. I braced for the next round – the soap. White foam hit me and filled half the car. The window button was hidden under white foam. I felt like someone attacked me with a fire extinguisher. The brushes paused at the front of the car and got ready to attack again. I wondered if I could get away from the next blast, but being of stout build, I could not get over the console in time or I could have been impaled on the gear shift. So I waited helplessly for the third stage of my shower – the rinse. Water from six nozzles hit me again. Finally it stopped. The little green light came on and told me to go. I breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that I had not ordered the Delux wash with wax and Rainx. Encased in wax, I would have been enshrined in Madam Tussaud's standing next to Charlie Chaplin. I grabbed the slippery steering wheel, but with all the foam and water, I could barely see out of my glasses. I reached for a rag to wipe them off, but everything was soaked. So I squinted over the steering wheel and drove half blind to our home, which was fortunately only three blocks away. A woman stared at me funny when I turned the corner. I parked in the garage, got out of the car, walked to the door with wet shoes squishing on the cement. When I walked in, my wife looked at me, astonished, and asked, “What happened to you?” My glasses were fogged over. My hair looked like an electrocuted porcupine. I shed my wet clothes and went to my comfort station - the refrigerator. I sat down and wondered how it was that that window stuck the very moment I drove into the car wash, not on a sunny day at the park? It will remain a mystery, but I have a sneaking suspicion that God needed a good laugh too. Tune in again, after I go in for a colonoscopy. Should be a lot of fun. |